Chairman's 11 and the Second 11 (click to enlarge)
Contents
1. Chairman's day 2005
2. The return of Nostradamus
3. Umpiring made easy
4. 60 second celeb interview - Geoff Boycott
5. A word from the Captain
6. Cricketing Humour
7. On a serious note - yes occasionally we have one
8. Party on
Chairman's day 2005
After a week of scorching temperature and bright sunny days, we were all looking forward to another chairman's day of memorable proportions, especially after chairman's day 2004 was washed out.
Saturday 25th June arrived and as expected the weather was crap. Overcast with drizzle in the air, cold and distinctly windy. But that did not stop 24 of the club's members assembling to play a game in honour of the Fred our chairman.
Chairman's 11 and the Second 11 (click to enlarge)
Two teams were selected and were imaginatively named: Chairman's 11 and non Chairman's 11. A one-o clock start was scheduled for proceedings to get underway but in true nomads style Hully and I (Andy King) were the only ones there at 12.55. Eventually we got underway and non chairman's 11( hereinafter referred to as the 2nd eleven because they are all crap !! - does this sound like sour grapes or would that be giving the game away - editor) skipper cheated with the coin toss and somehow won it. He put the chairman's (1st eleven) in to bat. The opening pair got us off to a steady ( by that I mean very slow) start and……….ok that's enough of the game lets look at the highlights shall we or we will be here all bloody week.
Highlights: Dropped catch of the season. The ball is skied up for a dolly to Luke who confidently calls for it. He settles himself for the catch, adjusting his clothing and sweeping back his hair so that when the ball came to him he looked good. The ball duly arrived and nestled gently in his hands. It sat there for a moment jumped out and fell earthwards. The next scene was pure slapstick. Luke stood there with his hands out in front of him looking like Oliver twist asking for more, a red cricket ball on the ground in front of him and 10 other player lying of the floor laughing. A Nomad moment to savour. This event is now known as the "Luke" event; to be said after every catch drop or otherwise.
Second 11 using every trick in the book. Who said the sun didn't shine?
After many years in retirement Dave Barras Smith returned to action and of course we were once again in awe of his bowling abilities. Dave comes in for his first ball with Danny Reid facing. Now Danny has never seen DBS play so was of aware of the sheer pace (!!!) The ball is released and Danny looks up and sees the ball heading skywards, still he waits and still the ball heads skywards. A passing Easyjet 737 swerves to avoid the ball before it heads back towards earth. It eventually bounces gently in front of Danny how with all the aplomb of Andrew Strauss plays the perfect forward defensive shot. He then turns to his brother Gari ( who is keeping wicket ) and says "I don't know how long I can do this for they are so slow and high. At that moment I knew DBS was back.
DBS bowling - Yes the ball is that high in the air. Danny Getting ready to hit the rubbish.
Throughout the game the banter was excellent with everyone taking it in good heart although I did think that I was subjected to a little to much sledging when I was batting and I am convinced I would have gone on to score a century if the 2nd eleven had kept quiet !!!
After the game we all descended upon the pavilion for tea and speeches. The tea was spread out in front of us all ( thanks to all the contributors) and we waited for the nod from the skipper to dig in. We waited and waited and waited and waited. "what the hell are we waiting for"? someone shouted. "Mahesh" came the reply. Yes folks Mahesh and the boys had gone home and kept us waiting for what seemed like hours for the chance to get stuck into the Mooney curry ( wow how good was that)
Food eaten Fred and Hully said a few words. Fred made an excellent speech as ever, and Hully said something ( god knows what I wasn't listening - I don't think anyone else was either - Editor) After that we all retreated to the bar only to find the club heaving because of a birthday party. So we stood crowed around the pool table at the back of the club playing darts - For Gods sake don't ask Ian Laidlaw about his treble 20 !!! Lets hope Chairman's day 2006 is equally as good.
Umpiring made easy - The ICC have today introduced a new rule to make umpiring easier. Rule 1477a -
If they shout give
it out.
If they don't make a din
the batsman is in
So now you have it Appeal to your hearts content and you will reap the rewards
Nostrodamus
Our beloved prophet returns again this month with more predictions
1. Nomads will win the league this year (especially after we beat Datchworth)
2. NASA will attempt to sue us for an un-authorised space entry ( ref. DBS bowling)
3. Andy King will not come out of retirement
4. Graham Hull will not rest his injuries and as a result his right arm and left leg will fall off
5. England will win the ashes
6. England will win the Natwest trophy
7. DBS will come out of retirement and resume his bowling career taking 5-20 off 5 overs in his comeback game
8. Andy Webber will turn up to a Nomad event - yeh right !!!!!!
9. Mahesh will stop giving wides to perfectly good balls
10. The Hulls and the Kings will venture overseas on a boat
60 second star interview
This month I interviewed the legend that is Geoff Boycott Asked him a number of probing questions about the state of English Cricket, I asked him about his favourite test match, I probed him ( easy Hully) about the merits of playing 7 batsmen in a match, I dug deep to get his thoughts on the Aussie team. In fact I covered all the bases and every aspect of the modern game. Unfortunately I am unable to print his replies. Not because he didn't turn up this month. Not because he didn't have much to say, quite the opposite in fact. No I am unable to print what he said because quite frankly I didn't understand a word of what the northern monkey was talking about. The only word I think I got was "Creeeeket" but even then I' not sure
Next month a 60 second interview with a southerner
A word from the Captain
Hornswaggle is a real word and if you don't believe me you are dropped
Cricketing Humour
Sent in from an anonymous emailer - Names have not been changed to protect the guilty
Cricket in Heaven?
Two old guys, Fred and Graham, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking cricket, like they do every day. Fred turns to Graham and says, "Do you think they have cricket in heaven?"
Fred thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal:
if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's cricket in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same." They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Fred passes on.
One day, Graham is sitting in the park feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Graham... Graham..." Graham responds, "Fred! Is that you?" "Yes it is, Graham," whispers Fred's ghost.
Graham, still amazed, asks, "So, do they have cricket in heaven?"
"Well," says Fred, "I've got good news and bad news."
"Give me the good news first," says Graham.
Fred says, "Well... Yes, they have cricket in heaven."
Graham says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"
Fred sighs and whispers, "You're playing on Friday."
On a serious note
There comes a time in everyone's life when although the mind is willing the body just isn't up to it any more. I have been toying with retirement for some time now and have played the odd game over the last couple of years, each time saying it is my last , but each time I have enjoyed it and decided to have just one more. Giving something up that has been with you for most of you life is very difficult and whilst I would dearly love to continue I cannot ( and to be honest probably have not been able to) compete with they guys that are playing now. So with a heavy heart and a great deal of sadness I announce that the Chairman's day game is to be my last.
I still aim to be actively involved with the Nomads going forward but on a more social basis. I will continue to do the Nomad News and generally make a nuisance of myself at games, but now from the spectator side of the boundary. I have been a proud member of the Nomads since 1985, in fact I am the longest serving current member.
In my years I have seen some very good cricketers come and go. I have been involved in some truly memorable games and have been involved in more than one excellent tour. The constant with the Nomads however is that we are a club like no other. We are not just a cricket club, we are a social animal with no particular airs and graces. Other teams take us how they find us. Some don't like us others do. Those that don't I always feel are actually jealous of what we have. It's always been that way.
To be honest my cricketing days started to nose dive in May 1994 at Lothair Road against the old enemy ( Stopsley). Those of you that were around then will of course remember, those of you that weren't will forgive me for relaying the story quickly. It was a damp day and we were fielding. I was at 1st slip and one of the Stopsley boys skewed the ball through the gully. I turned to chase the ball and as I got to it the damp ground decided to glue my boots to the deck. Unfortunately it forgets to tell the rest of my leg and I span around breaking my left ankle, my tibia and my fibia. I recall lying on the deck waiting for the ambulance to arrive ( it apparently took 40 minutes) with my team-mates doing all they could to stop me looking at the injury. Eventually the ambulance came. Before they could move me they gave me a full canister of gas and air. I recall saying to Julie Hull that I don't think it is to bad and I would see her tomorrow for the tour. The next day they operated on me to rebuild my leg. I still have an eleven inch plate in there keeping it all together.
I should have read the signs then and stopped, but after 9 months in a wheelchair I wanted to get out and play again.
The astounding thing was that during that time nobody ever forgot I was a Nomad and every week someone (Hully mainly) would come and get me so I could go to matches.
I have made lifelong friends at Nomads, in particular Graham and Julie, Gary Love ( no longer playing) and more recently Steve "my twin brother" Bruno.
I will NEVER not be a Nomad and look forward to many more years' involvement as a non playing member. There are few people I would like to thanks for making my playing career at Nomads so enjoyable. One or two are not around the club anymore so I will not mention those but some are and I take pleasure in thanking them and am proud to have played with them ( most of the time) Fred Woodhouse, Graham Hull, Julie Hull, Mark Doherty, Shane Jones and Steve Bruno
Good luck to all of you for the rest of the season and win the league for me.
Party On
At a recent birthday bash, some one made the mistake of inviting some Nomads and this is what's happens when you do. Graham was having fun - honest!
